Saturday, 31 December 2011
A fairy tale for today
Stuff and Nonsense by Amy Cockram is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.
Once upon a time, there was a young inventor who was married to a woman he despised.
He had grown to hate her over time, but he still found her attractive even though she was incredibly hairy. He felt desperately conflicted, because he still wanted her and he hated this power that she had over him. The one thing more than anything else that he wanted to change about her was that he wanted her to be smooth but, because he also disliked her intensely, he wanted to cause her pain in the process.
Thus the epilator was invented.
This fairy tale is indicative of my feelings about epilators and should not be read as a parable on the state of my marriage, which is very happy, thank you very much. I also believe that I am a normal amount of hairy, and not a freaky gorilla woman.
This is fiction and is not intended to be representative of the life of the real inventor of the epilator. I would also like to point out that I am not rich so it would not be worth the time and expense of suing me. Thank you.